Upon returning to my studio apartment after three days in jail, I

received a letter from UC Berkeley informing me in no uncertain terms

that I'd been expelled. Apparently schools do that sort of thing when

you don't bother showing up to classes and your grade point average

starts with a decimal point. In that moment, I realized I had two basic

options for how to deal with my situation: grow up or give up.

During the next few months while waiting for my court date, I

was in a total funk. Most days I slept until well past noon. I buried myself in video games, sometimes for 18 hours at a time. (We're talking

single-player Nintendo games here, not massive multiplayer online

games.) It's hard to feel motivated when you're expecting to go to jail

for a while.

Eventually I secured a lawyer and met with him at his office to

discuss my situation. Before I could open my mouth, he blurted out,

"Steve, I've reviewed your case, and since this is your first offense,

I'm pretty sure we can get it reduced to petty theft. If we plead no

contest, you'll get off with a lesser conviction and end up with some

community service. I'm on great terms with the district attorney, so

I'm sure he'll go for it. I strongly advise against going to trial, as the

evidence against you is overwhelming, seeing as you were caught

red-handed."

Immediately my thoughts began to race. First offense? Is he deluded? Why does he think this is my first offense? Doesn't he know about

my priors? If he thinks this is a first offense, will the rest of the court think

so, too? Should I correct him on this serious oversight?

While trying to decide how to respond, I heard a voice in the back

of my mind: Keep your damned mouth shut! I realized that speaking

up now might backfire on me later, but there was a slim chance it

could "frontfire," too. I figured that the worst case was that I'd have

an angry lawyer somewhere down the road, but the best case was too

good to pass up. Grand theft is a felony; petty theft is only a misdemeanor. I decided I had to risk it. Taking risks was an all-too-familiar

pastime