LOVE AFFAIRS OF THE EXILES.
The stove had burned up and got warm, the tea was made and poured out into mugs and cups, and milk was added to it; rusks, fresh rye and wheat bread, hard-boiled eggs, butter, and calf's head and feet were placed on the cloth. Everybody moved towards the part of the shelf beds which took the place of the table and sat eating and talking. Rintzeva sat on a box pouring out the tea. The rest crowded round her, only Kryltzoff, who had taken off his wet cloak and wrapped himself in his dry plaid and lay in his own place talking to Nekhludoff.
After the cold and damp march and the dirt and disorder they had found here, and after the pains they had taken to get it tidy, after having drunk hot tea and eaten, they were all in the best and brightest of spirits.
The fact that the tramp of feet, the screams and abuse of the criminals, reached them through the wall, reminding them of their surroundings, seemed only to increase the sense of coziness. As on an island in the midst of the sea, these people felt themselves for a brief interval not swamped by the degradation and sufferings which surrounded them; this made their spirits rise, and excited them. They talked about everything except their present position and that which awaited them. Then, as it generally happens among young men, and women especially, if they are forced to remain together, as these people were, all sorts of agreements and disagreements and attractions, curiously blended, had sprung up among them. Almost all of them were in love. Novodvoroff was in love with the pretty, smiling Grabetz. This Grabetz was a young, thoughtless girl who had gone in for a course of study, perfectly indifferent to revolutionary questions, but succumbing to the influence of the day, she compromised herself in some way and was exiled. The chief interest of her life during the time of her trial in prison and in exile was her success with men, just as it had been when she was free. Now on the way she comforted herself with the fact that Novodvoroff had taken a fancy to her, and she fell in love with him. Vera Doukhova, who was very prone to fall in love herself, but did not awaken love in others, though she was always hoping for mutual love, was sometimes drawn to Nabatoff, then to Novodvoroff. Kryltzoff felt something like love for Mary Pavlovna. He loved her with a man's love, but knowing how she regarded this sort of love, hid his feelings under the guise of friendship and gratitude for the tenderness with which she attended to his wants. Nabatoff and Rintzeva were attached to each other by very complicated ties. Just as Mary Pavlovna was a perfectly chaste maiden, in the same way Rintzeva was perfectly chaste as her own husband's wife. When only a schoolgirl of sixteen she fell in love with Rintzeff, a student of the Petersburg University, and married him before he left the university, when she was only nineteen years old. During his fourth year at the university her husband had become involved in the students' rows, was exiled from Petersburg, and turned revolutionist. She left the medical courses she was attending, followed him, and also turned revolutionist. If she had not considered her husband the cleverest and best of men she would not have fallen in love with him; and if she had not fallen in love would not have married; but having fallen in love and married him whom she thought the best and cleverest of men, she naturally looked upon life and its aims in the way the best and cleverest of men looked at them. At first he thought the aim of life was to learn, and she looked upon study as the aim of life. He became a revolutionist, and so did she. She could demonstrate very clearly that the existing state of things could not go on, and that it was everybody's duty to fight this state of things and to try to bring about conditions in which the individual could develop freely, etc. And she imagined that she really thought and felt all this, but in reality she only regarded everything her husband thought as absolute truth, and only sought for perfect agreement, perfect identification of her own soul with his which alone could give her full moral satisfaction. The parting with her husband and their child, whom her mother had taken, was very hard to bear; but she bore it firmly and quietly, since it was for her husband's sake and for that cause which she had not the slightest doubt was true, since he served it. She was always with her husband in thoughts, and did not love and could not love any other any more than she had done before. But Nabatoff's devoted and pure love touched and excited her. This moral, firm man, her husband's friend, tried to treat her as a sister, but something more appeared in his behaviour to her, and this something frightened them both, and yet gave colour to their life of hardship.
So that in all this circle only Mary Pavlovna and Kondratieff were quite free from love affairs.
炉子生好,房间里暖和起来.茶烧开了,倒在玻璃杯和带把的杯子里,加上牛一奶一,变成白色.面包圈,一精一白粉面包,普通面包,煮老的鸡蛋,牛一奶一,牛头,牛蹄都摆了出来.大家凑着那个当桌子用的板铺吃喝,谈天.艾米丽雅坐在木箱上,给大家倒茶.其余的人都围着她,只有克雷里卓夫不在.他脱掉湿一漉一漉的皮袄,用烤干的一毛一毯裹一着身一子,躺在铺上,跟聂赫留朵夫谈话.
经历了一天又冷又湿的长途跋涉,他们发现这地方又脏又乱,就不辞辛劳把它收拾整齐.如今吃了些好东西,喝了热茶,大家都觉得一精一神焕发,心情愉快.
隔墙传来刑事犯跺脚,叫嚷和咒骂的声音,提醒他们外面是个什么世界.这样,待在屋里就感到格外舒适.他们仿佛处在大海的孤岛上,不会受到周围屈辱和痛苦一浪一潮的侵袭,因此情绪昂扬,兴高采烈.他们海阔天空无所不谈,但对他们的处境和前途则避而不谈.除此以外,他们也象一般青年男一女那样,朝夕相处,自然产生错综复杂的一爱一情,有情投意合的,也有勉强结合的.几乎每个人都在谈恋一爱一.诺伏德伏罗夫迷恋长得漂亮而又总是笑脸相迎的格拉别茨.格拉别茨原是个高等女校的学生,年纪很轻,思想单纯,对革命漠不关心.但她也受到时代潮流的冲击,卷入某个案件,被判处流放.入狱以前,她生活上的主要兴趣就是博得男人的欢心.后来在受审期间,在监狱里,在流放途中,这种兴趣始终保持不变.如今在流放途中,由于诺伏德伏罗夫迷恋她,她感到安慰,同时也一爱一上了他.薇拉是个多情的女人,但引不起人家对她的一爱一情.不过,她一会儿一爱一上纳巴托夫,一会儿一爱一上诺伏德伏罗夫,总是指望对方也能对她发生感情.克雷里卓夫对谢基尼娜的态度近似恋一爱一.他象一般男人一爱一女人那样一爱一她,但他知道她的恋一爱一观,就用友谊和感激来掩盖自己的真情,而他之所以感激她,是因为她对他照顾得特别周到.纳巴托夫和艾米丽雅之间的一爱一情关系十分微妙.就象谢基尼娜是个十分贞洁的处一女那样,艾米丽雅是个对丈夫十分忠贞的妻子.
艾米丽雅十六岁念中学的时候,就一爱一上彼得堡大学学生兰采夫;十九岁那年就同他结婚,当时他还在大学念书.她丈夫四年级的时候,卷进学潮,被驱逐出彼得堡,从此成了革命者.她就放弃医学院课程,跟丈夫一起出走,也成了革命者.如果她的丈夫在她心目中不是天下最优秀最聪明的人,她也不会一爱一上他;如果她没有一爱一上他,自然也不会嫁给他了.既然她一爱一上她认为天下最优秀最聪明的人,同他结了婚,她自然就按天下最优秀最聪明的那个人的看法来理解生活和生活的目的.他起初认为生活就是读书,她也就这样看待生活.后来他成了革命者,她也就成了革命者.她能有力证明,现行制度不合理,人人有责任反对它,并建立一种新的政治和经济制度,在那种制度下,个一性一可以获得自一由发展,等等.她自以为确实这样想,这样感觉,其实只是把丈夫的想法看作绝对真理.她所追求的,无非就是在一精一神上同丈夫和谐一致,水一乳一交一融.只有这样,她在一精一神上才感到满足.
她同丈夫离别,同她的孩子离别--孩子由她母亲领去抚养--感到痛苦.但分手时她坚强而镇定,因为知道她忍受这种痛苦是为了丈夫,为了事业,--那个事业无疑是正义的,因为她丈夫在为它奋斗.她在一精一神上永远同丈夫在一起.她以前没有一爱一过任何人,如今除了丈夫,也不可能一爱一上任何人.然而纳巴托夫对她的一片诚意和纯洁的一爱一,却打动了她的心,使她不能平静.他为人正直而坚强,又是她丈夫的朋友,竭力象对待姐妹那样对待她,可是他对她的感情却超过兄妹情谊.这使他们两人都感到不安,但却使他们目前艰苦的生活变得好过些.
因此,在这个小集体里,同恋一爱一完全不沾边的,只有谢基尼娜和玛尔凯两人.
